You simply won't believe what happened to me!
I was out for my daily stroll when Marquis Pummeler and his band of ruffians assailed me!
Amongst the many unfortunate and ungentlemanly behaviors they displayed was destroying my parasol.
A tragedy of the highest order!
Without it, I'm afraid I'm left quite vulnerable to the oppressive Light that curses this land.
The Marquis controls a coveted shaded hideout nearby. Will you avenge my parasol and teach this ruffian some manners?