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Twas the night before Mists...
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Twas the night before Mists, and in each gamer’s house
The computer was whirring, batteries changed for a mouse;
The Red Bull was stockpiled, which no one would share,
For the game from Greg “Ghostcrawler” soon would be there;
The children were nestled all drugged in their beds,
So their parents could play without pain in their heads;
My healer in Horde Tee, and me my horde cap,
Took the last chance for days to catch a quick nap,
When out on the forums there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the laptop I flew like a flash,
Opened the browser, and started reading the trash.
“It’s too easy,” they bellowed, “and the Pandas blow!”
“It’s not out yet,” I cried, “you don’t even know!”,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a slough of new text, with an icon of beer,
A pro of a typer, text lively and quick,
This mystery poster, he knew every trick.
More rapid than eagles his counterpoints came,
And he emoticoned, lol’ed, and touted features by name;
"Now, Pet Battles, Monks, Pandas and mounts!
See cross realm friend making with other accounts!
Level to 90 on the ground where you should be!
And world PvP’s back- these zones will be bloody,”
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
The hecklers all scattered, their energy bled dry
Their rage dissipated and died, despite acrimony,
That one usually saves for paying alimony.
And all through the battle, the Beerman aloof,
Dodged Godwins, and Straw men, and countered with proof.
And now that there were no buzzkills around,
Beerman gave us good kids new info he found.
Screnshots of new armor, from head to foot,
Tables of bosses who dropped the best loot;
A bundle of toys he posted for us,
New dragons, and turtles, pets were a plus.
And new panda models, so high-res, not flat!
The furries were happy…we’ll just leave it at that…
And a legendary weapon, although not a bow,
was there for EVERY class, he announced with a glow;
Treasures on the ground, vanity drops off rare spawns,
We’ll never get the banksitters off of our lawns;
But who on Earth was this mystery poster,
Who in the wee hours, our spirits did bolster.
Were they chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf?
A well spoken pre-teen, a bored home-bound MILF?
The tone of his banter, the laughs in his thread,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
After brightening the forums, now done with his work,
Beerman fell silent, now content to just lurk,
And then the servers up and we all could log on!
So we abandoned the forums, all patience gone;
Now I’d like to say we all bonded that day,
And formed a real community in this game we all play.
But it’s the internet and, John Gabriel was right…
"Happy Ex-pac you guys- I’ll gank your asses tonight!"
Ha, very clever El!
What's sad is I only play Ally, but it had too many syllables for the poem :/
You have way too much time on your hands. =P
That was awesome El.
BTW I read it with
on my player, so it felt even more awesome.
Very nice indeed.
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