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10.2.7
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Monty Python Appreciation Society
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266586
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225644
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149406
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Post by
Queggy
Before any of you say a word about political correctness, it's a joke song so shut up and live with it.
ROBIN
In any great adventure,
if you don't want to lose,
victory depends
on the people that you choose.
So, listen, Arthur darling,
closely to this news:
We won't succeed in Broadway
if we don't have any Jews.
You may have the finest sets,
fill the stage with Penthouse Pets.
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes.
You may dance and you may sing,
but I am sorry Arthur King,
you'll hear no cheers,
just lots and lots of boos.
MINSTRELS
Boo!
ROBIN
You may have butch men by the score,
whom the audience adore.
You may even have animals from zoos.
Though you've Poles and Krauts instead,
you may have unleavened bread,
but I tell you, you are dead
if you don't have any Jews.
They won't care if it's witty,
or ev'rything looks pretty.
They'll simply say it's @#$%ty, and refuse.
Nobody will go, sir,
if it's not kosher, then no show, sir.
Even goyim won't be dim enough to choose.
You may even have the finest reviews.
MINSTREL
You're doing great!
ROBIN
But audiences won't care, sir,
as long as you don't dare, sir,
to open up on Broadway,
ARTHUR and PATSY
if you don't have any Jews.
ROBIN
You may have dramatic lighting,
or lots of horrid fighting.
You may even have some white men sing the blues.
Your knights may be nice boys,
but sadly, we're all goys,
and that noise that you call singing you must lose.
So, despite your pretty lights
and naughty girls in nasty tights,
and the most impressive scenery you can use,
You may have dancing mano e mano,
you may bring on a piano,
but they won't give a damn-o
if you don't have any Jews.
ALL
Hey!
ROBIN
Oh, oy!
You may fill your plays with gays,
have Nigerian girls in stays.
WOMEN
You may even have some shiksas making stews.
ROBIN and MEN
You haven't got a clue,
if you don't have a Jew,
all of your investments you're goin' to lose.
ROBIN
There's a very small percentile
who enjoys a dancing gentile.
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news.
ALL
But, never mind your swordplay.
You just won't succeed on Broadway.
You just won't succeed on Broadway
if you don't have any Jews.
ROBIN
Papa can you hear me? To get along on Broadway, to sing your song on Broadway,
to hit the top on Broadway and not lose.
I tell you, Arthur King,
there is one essential thing.
There simply must be,
simply must be Jews.
There simply must be,
Arthur, trust me,
simply must be Jews.
Post by
266586
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149406
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266586
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149406
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Post by
Sagramor
What's Monty Python again?
....
....
....
....
I'm just kidding!
Please don't shoot me!
On topic:
I still laugh my ass off when I remember the suicidal squad on the Life of Brian!
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266586
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324791
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149406
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266586
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Post by
Interest
Hmm, I haven't posted in this thread yet.
Is it safe to say I haven't actually fully seen any Monty Python-related stuff?
Post by
240135
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Post by
Dragoonman
I am here representing the Society of Funny Walks. LOL.
I was about to make a thread about Monty Python and look what I stumbled into!
O yeah, and
THIS
Post by
135207
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