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Post by
Adamsm
Eh, Flight of a Shaman actually started in an RP; I need to go back and start fixing up the old mistakes.
Post by
Hyperspacerebel
There are some flaws in your language, hmmppf. Unless I'm missing something important about the grammar in WoW-ian."his own gryphon, a massive black". A massive black what? Unless Black is a species or something.. And it's supposed to be begin, not began. I'm sorry lol I don't actually care but you're Adamsm so..
Black is fine where it is in that sentence. It's "massive" that catches my eye. The sentence structure is making it modify black when it's meant to modify gryphon.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Adamsm
Entirely possible; I know I skip words at time when the writing furor has me.
Post by
Hyperspacerebel
Well the sentence continues in to "a massive black that is know to blabla" it just looks like a word is missing, just something simple like maybe "one".
Maybe in a case like that. But inverted adjectives are fine when they are being stressed on their own: "Her hair, a gorgeous black, flowed over her shoulders like a bad simile."
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Hyperspacerebel
Hence my gripe with the word massive.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Hyperspacerebel
Hence my gripe with the word massive.
So you just pointed out the fact that I thought was obvious. You're silly.
I personally wouldn't move black or add a pronoun though, I like inverted adjectives. I'd just add an "and" between them: "a gryphon, massive and black" or better "a gryphon, black and massive."
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Adamsm
His master called, on the back of his own gryphon, a massive black that had been rumoured to kill a Black Dragon on it's own without the help of the ancient shaman.The line in question lol.
Post by
Interest
Hence my gripe with the word massive.
There were massive distastes in this not-so-massive post. The attempt to abuse the user's massive bias was done to massively annoy the user for my massive amusement.
Post by
Hyperspacerebel
So a word is missing. That's all I'm saying.
And I'm fine with black dangling there is all I'm saying.
His master called, on the back of his own gryphon, a massive black that had been rumoured to kill a Black Dragon on it's own without the help of the ancient shaman.
Honestly the entire sentence feels clunky to me, from the way the appositive phrase is just tacked onto the end like that to the ambiguous tense of "to kill."
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Adamsm
His master called, on the back of his own gryphon, a massive black that had been rumoured to kill a Black Dragon on it's own without the help of the ancient shaman.
Honestly the entire sentence feels clunky to me, from the way the appositive phrase is just tacked onto the end like that to the ambiguous tense of "to kill."
As said, need to go back and polish my early works.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Hyperspacerebel
All the basic banter quotes are
here
, and I don't see that and have never heard it.
Post by
Adamsm
Not according to the search I just did; no record anywhere heh. I know in Day of the Dragon, Nozdormu tells Krasus that 'One day, Deathwing too will pass into my collection' but that's the closest I can think of.
Post by
240140
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
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