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Watch Your Words
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Post by
161859
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
1011454
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
ElhonnaDS
It's a matter of scale of offense vs. reaction. I agree that if someone is messing up your raid or dungeon run, you have the right to kick them, tell them they need to get better in order to do this content, etc.
However, telling them to "Die in an AIDS fire" (which is one I've seen used) is a bit much. If you were at work, and every time you mis-filed something, sent an e-mail with a grammatical error or forgot to make the coffee, your co-wokers gathered round and told you that they hoped you got violated in the parking lot, murdered, that your mother died in a fire, that you got cancer, etc., with all manner of profanity laced in, you'd think they were insane for having that level of reaction to a simple mistake. If a customer said those things because you brought them diet coke instead of regular coke, misunderstood what they were asking for n a project, or weren't familiar with the machine they were questioning you about, you'd think they were mentally imbalanced. If your teenager did poorly on a test, and those were the kinds of things their teacher or tutor said to them, you'd be up in arms. If you tripped and accidentally fell into someone, and that was their reaction, you'd be scared for you life because of how mentally imbalanced they seemed to be.
The types of things people say to other people on the internet are really horrific. I'm not talking about tongue in cheek teasing, directly addressing the problem the person is having, or showing frustration that they're hindering what you're trying to do. I'm talking about the absolutely degrading language people are using, threats of violence, wishing rape, torture and death upon them and their family members, etc. Stuff that's really sick. If your response is that they need to "grow a thicker skin" when told that their mother should die or have all manner of horrible things happen to her because they're not good at a game...you have some serious problems as a human being.
EDIT: And I'm not saying this as someone who gets these insults online. I tend to perform more than adequately for whatever I'm doing in WoW. I'm saying this as someone who is constantly embarrassed by how people in my guilds, my groups, etc. act towards people whose only mistake is being new.
Post by
Nulgar
you did not lose a wife over wow. you would've lost this person due to behaviors that were pre-existing.Still, it didn't matter whether this happened in the game or in RL, that's the point. He didn't blame WoW for it, he stated it made him find out something about his wife that he could not stand, which (my opinion) might have taken quite a while longer to recognize in RL.
Post by
1011454
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Post by
TheReal
I'm the first one to point at the Golden Rule. Us secular humanists live by it as much as anyone else. I wholeheartedly agree that people shouldn't wish death and decay upon others, but it's going to happen and there's not a whole lot you, I, or anyone else can do about it. Like I said, toughen up buttercup. I think YJMark said it best already:
If someone "makes you feel like crap", maybe you should try to understand why, and resolve it. Don't whine about being berated or belittled. Take away their excuse for being mean. Let it drive you to make yourself better at the game. Get pissed off, and use it to fuel yourself to become super awesome.
Use your critical thinking skills to decide if other people are flipping out just to be asses or if they would have legitimate complaints if they used a kinder tone.
Post by
hymer
@ ElhonnaDS: Your example seems to disprove that it's the anonymity, at least in that particular case. If your friend is nasty while anonymous, and still nasty (if less so) when dealing with you, there must be some other factor playing into the situation.
Post by
243770
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Post by
ElhonnaDS
@ ElhonnaDS: Your example seems to disprove that it's the anonymity, at least in that particular case. If your friend is nasty while anonymous, and still nasty (if less so) when dealing with you, there must be some other factor playing into the situation.
But I think that it started because of the anonymity, and now this person is so used to doing it in a game setting that it's second nature. That's pretty much what they've said- that they're so used to responding this way online that they don't even think about it anymore.
Post by
yukonjack
I personally love trolling people on wow. It's fantastic. And if I want to be a *!@#$%, then I have to take responsibility for being one.
To the OP while I agree with you, your best defense is to use the ignore and or report function.
To Lava, you dont have to take responsibility for being a troll on wow which is exactly why you do it. Don't kid yourself into thinking your online behavior isn't a problem. May you live long enough and grow wise enough to realize it.
Post by
243770
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Post by
ElhonnaDS
I don't think he misunderstood. In order for the effect your actions have on another person to affect you in turn, if there is no actual consequence in terms of punishment, backlash or retribution, you'd have to have a measure of empathy. The way in which you write indicates you don't. No empathy = no weight = no consequence. If you were a nicer person, it would have an effect on you, and I would agree that would be a consequence. However, if you were a nicer person you probably wouldn't consider making children feel bad fantastic, so it's unlikely you'd be engaging in those actions to begin with.
When someone actually "takes responsibility" for something, it's more than acknowledging that they did it. It's taking the initiative to set it right. A man can admit he's a child's father, but taking responsibility for that child entails doing the right thing as his father. Admitting you are a nasty to people, but assuming no responsibility for correcting it, apologizing for it, or mitigating any damage it has done is actually not in any way taking responsibility for it.
If you feel people shouldn't talk about things they don't understand, perhaps you should evaluate your concept of responsibility more closely before responding.
Post by
Adamsm
And the thread is just proving the ^&*!wad theory for the most part lol.
Post by
243770
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Post by
ElhonnaDS
See, and I thought that the problem with this generation was that no one is held accountable any more for behaving decently. Go figure.
Post by
243770
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Post by
1011454
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Post by
243770
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
ElhonnaDS
I think that traditionally, social pressure did a lot to keep people's behaviors in check. If you live in a town of 1000 people, and for the most part those are the people you are going to have to deal with day in and day out for much of your adult life, then there's a lot more incentive not to go out and be a jerk. If you have a habit of cursing at shopkeepers and waitstaff, getting into physical altercations over nothing, getting drunk and belligerent in public, and just generally being a nasty human being, eventually, you're going to be known as such by everyone around you, and you'll feel actual repercussions. You won't be able to get a job, dating would be hard, stores might refuse you service, people won't want to socialize with you, etc. In a smaller community, your bad behavior can come back and bite you much more easily.
Nowadays, it's very easy for you to be a total tool, and not run out of new people who don't know you to give you a chance. You can find a new place to eat, a new person to date who doesn't know you, new friends who won't know what you did to your old friends, etc. We're so densely packed, that it's hard to run out of new people. Oh, certain things, like lack of references from a poor work history, or frequent firings, will affect you (which is why most people who are tools still manage to behave decently at work), but for the most part you can keep finding new people to abuse, and not really become outcast because of how you act.
The internet is that X1000. You don't even have to look at someone's face and see what they think of what you said, never mind worry if they spit in your drink next week, or are going to interview you next month for a job. You don't have to worry that you'll run into them in a public place and they'll embarrass you. You don't have to worry that word will reach co-workers, friends or family, who would probably be disgusted with your behavior and would actually have an effect on your life.
I think now that the small community is a thing of the past, there isn't a way for society to put pressure on people to behave decently. Which is sad.
Post by
243770
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