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LGBT Q&A/General Thread.
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Post by
donnymurph
For everybody (straight, gay, lesbian), what came first? Did you fall in love with someone of a specific gender and from that come to realize your sexuality, or did you have a firm grasp of your sexuality before really falling for anyone?
Sexuality first.
Post by
Adamsm
Little of both in all honesty.
Post by
Squishalot
I'm not sure I understand your answer.
I don't think that they're related. Love is an emotion relating to caring for another person. Sexual preference is a physical desire relating to sexual relations with another person. The fact that I care about a guy doesn't have anything to do with my desire to engage in sexual relations to him.
since always
Funny, I've always heard it said as "gay and lesbian", then over time it became "gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender". I hadn't heard it in LGBT order until Wowhead.
Post by
Jubilee
I'm not sure I understand your answer.
I don't think that they're related. Love is an emotion relating to caring for another person. Sexual preference is a physical desire relating to sexual relations with another person. The fact that I care about a guy doesn't have anything to do with my desire to engage in sexual relations to him.
I love my mum, dad, brother, my close friends, and many other people dearly. I'm talking about something completely different when I say fall in love.
Post by
Squishalot
How are you defining love (or 'falling in love') then? (Slightly off-topic, but I think it's probably worthwhile clarifying for the sake of adding to the discussion.)
Post by
Thror
For everybody (straight, gay, lesbian), what came first? Did you fall in love with someone of a specific gender and from that come to realize your sexuality, or did you have a firm grasp of your sexuality before really falling for anyone?
I've never found that love and sexual attraction were necessarily related. You can be sexually attracted to someone without loving them.
I'm not sure I understand your answer.
Why not? Take me. I can feel sexual attraction towards men, but I can only fall in love with women.
Post by
392412
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Jubilee
For everybody (straight, gay, lesbian), what came first? Did you fall in love with someone of a specific gender and from that come to realize your sexuality, or did you have a firm grasp of your sexuality before really falling for anyone?
I've never found that love and sexual attraction were necessarily related. You can be sexually attracted to someone without loving them.
I'm not sure I understand your answer.
Why not? Take me. I can feel sexual attraction towards men, but I can only fall in love with women.
But that's not what I asked, which is why I don't understand the answer.
How are you defining love (or 'falling in love') then? (Slightly off-topic, but I think it's probably worthwhile clarifying for the sake of adding to the discussion.)
Love being deepest level of sexual, emotional, and physical attraction to a person.
Post by
Thror
Bisexual, gynoromantic?
That is a very amusing way to say that, I didn't even know such a term existed. It's clever though, separating sexuality and emotions like that. Yeah I believe I fit that description.
Post by
Adamsm
They are saying you can be sexuality attracted to someone without love; the sheer number of one night stands shows that all across the lands heh.
Post by
392412
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Jubilee
They are saying you can be sexuality attracted to someone without love; the sheer number of one night stands shows that all across the lands heh.
I know, I just don't know how it's an answer to my question =/
Post by
Squishalot
They are saying you can be sexuality attracted to someone without love; the sheer number of one night stands shows that all across the lands heh.
I know, I just don't know how it's an answer to my question =/
It's not a direct answer, more that your question doesn't actually give us an option that accurately defines our experience. You're asking if we knew we were straight / bi / gay / etc. before we fell in love or whether falling in love helped us define our preference. Arguably, of the two options, I didn't need to fall in love to know I'm straight, but I don't think that it would be fair to say that my sexual preferences would define who I would love (by my definition of love).
By your definition, which includes a physical / sexual element, then sure.(##RESPBREAK##)8##DELIM##Squishalot##DELIM##
Post by
Jubilee
I still don't really understand what you're trying to say, but ah well.
Post by
pezz
I feel like a phenomenally tedious, Classical Humanities 101 discussion of the three Greek words for love would be useful here.
Post by
gamerunknown
Philo, Eros and Agape?
It's one of the few homilies I remember, haha.
The only girl I've ever dated spent the whole thing telling me to "Man up" and cheated on me the whole time.
That's kind of horrible and ironic. Was that the one that went FtM? I'm sure you'll find someone far cooler.
Take me.
;p
there are a lot of terms related to sexuality and romantic feelings that most people don't know.
I remember seeing a post that was like 'I am "bihumanity" and flexisexual' or something like that... Any clue what it might be?
As for when I first realised I was straight: I don't know. I guess it was sort of a contiguous process. I remember the first time watching Alizee's J'en Ai Marre on top of the pops, being surprised that it was allowed on TV and having to sit very still for a few minutes afterwards. I also remember asking out the girl that pretty much every guy in the school liked in year six (age 11) and then pretty much every girl in the year at age 12 (one said yes, but we just held hands and then broke up the next day... derp). Since then I've completely lost confidence in any romantic matters.
I may have shared the story before but a bisexual friend of mine said he felt emasculated when his girlfriend broke up with him so he went out with a guy to feel more manly.
Edit: Read a story about a Dominican Catholic priest that was discovered molesting children and blackmailed that decided to dismember his blackmailers...
Just reminded me when I was about nine I went to the ordination party for a Dominican priest and I remember thinking that the hall was full of beautiful girls. I probably wasn't that luststruck until I went to Paris several years later, or perhaps one summer doing touristy stuff in London.
Post by
ElhonnaDS
For everybody (straight, gay, lesbian), what came first? Did you fall in love with someone of a specific gender and from that come to realize your sexuality, or did you have a firm grasp of your sexuality before really falling for anyone?
The second, I guess. I remember being pretty young and watching TV, and thinking some actor or another was cute- all men. I didn't start having crushes on people until junior high, but the concept that I liked guys was there first.
Post by
pezz
there are a lot of terms related to sexuality and romantic feelings that most people don't know.
I remember seeing a post that was like 'I am "bihumanity" and flexisexual' or something like that... Any clue what it might be?
The LGBTQ movement is the kind of movement where people just kind of make up words pretty much constantly.
Not that I don't think it's a good movement, not that I'm criticizing people for trying to identify themselves, just that there's probably some new word made up on a weekly basis.
Post by
392412
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Azazel
The only girl I've ever dated spent the whole thing telling me to "Man up" and cheated on me the whole time.
That's kind of horrible and ironic. Was that the one that went FtM? I'm sure you'll find someone far cooler.
Naw, the FtM was my first boyfriend. He was awesome while things lasted. I think I have, the guy I'm with right now is really, really sweet.
How did he react to you being transgendered? Unless that's too personal a question of course.
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