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Can Of Worms: Is it ok to spy on your kids online?
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Post by
Tartonga
Nah. I wouldn't do it. I don't think I would actually be "defending" him from anything if I spy him.
Post by
gnomerdon
That is a huge double standard, Face...
Yes. I treat daughters differently from sons. And I won't be changing it ANYTIME soon.
Post by
Thror
Is it ok to spy on your kids in real life? ;)
The amazing thing about morality is that you can bypass it if you ask a question differently.
Is it ok to have a really good sense of hearing? Nope.
SOLV'D
.
Anyway, spying on kids online... well, that really depends on the extent of spying. If I had a kid now, I would probably read his/hers Facebook wall, and possibly check the history sometimes.
Hm. When I was a kid and started with internet, I remember I actually saw a documentary about internet pedophiles already. That was when I was like 9 or 10 years old though, and I was smart enough to be scared by the documentary. First time I started chatting I suspected that every girl might not be a girl, and so on.
Post by
Squishalot
Is it ok to spy on your kids in real life? ;)
The amazing thing about morality is that you can bypass it if you ask a question differently.
Is it ok to have a really good sense of hearing? Nope.
SOLV'D
.
Not really - I'm not sure that walking past their computer and seeing what's on their screen while they're browsing online would constitute 'spying', by most people's definition. But I do take your point :)
Post by
OverZealous
Keeping an eye on: Yes
"Spying": @#$% no.
Post by
LeionX
Keeping an eye on: Yes
"Spying": @#$% no.
That begs the question though. What is deemed keeping an eye on them and what is deemed spying. This can change depending on the person.
Post by
Patty
As Pezz pointed out, it's quite an oversimplification, but I voted 'no'. However, I think a more pressing question is when the right time is to expose kids to the internet at home, as in school when they use it generally many inappropriate sites are blocked. Really, you should educate your kids about the internet and allow them to mentally mature to a point where they know what a good or bad choice is, where harassment buttons (or things like that) are, et cetera
before
they get exposed to the wider internet.
Don't get me wrong, I understand that a ten year old watching porn is bad.... but by the time they're about 16 and being more and more exposed to real life sexual encounters, is it right to chastise them at that point? That's just an example, but still. I think monitoring and 'spying' is bad, but I think putting limits in place for a time are good, such as blocking porn sites, imageboards, places like chatroulette etc. Another question is how long they should be on the internet for in the first place.
Yes. I treat daughters differently from sons. And I won't be changing it ANYTIME soon.
So it's okay for your underage son to perhaps get in a position where he flashes his #$%^ on the internet, but not for your daughter to get in such a position?
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
Post by
457614
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Azazel
I haven't voted because I think it's ok until they reach a certain age. I wouldn't want my 9 year old kid watching porn. So let them be free when they are old enough.
Post by
Tartonga
Yes. I treat daughters differently from sons. And I won't be changing it ANYTIME soon.
So it's okay for your underage son to perhaps get in a position where he flashes his #$%^ on the internet, but not for your daughter to get in such a position?
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
+1
Post by
ElhonnaDS
Absolutely. Your job as a parent is to protect your children, even from themselves. If your child is having sexually explicit conversations, discusses drug/alcohol use or breaking the law, or plans to get inolved in a dangerous situation, you should be in a position to stop it. You need to supervise children- the internet doesn't change that-it just makes it easier for kids to get around their parents.
If I have a child, I have a responsibility to watch them. I have to make sure that they are learning the correct types of behaviors, the differences between right and wrong, etc. I have to teach them to make good choices, and protect them from things that they're not fully able to comprehend will hurt them. The reason adults are responsible for their kids until a certain age is that kids brains haven't finished developing. They haven't yet had enough life experience to make wise choices.
If there was an article about a parent whose 12 year old OD-ed on heroine, in their own house, and the parent said they worried about their child but didn't check for drugs because they thought it was an invasion of privacy, you'd be calling that parent a freaking idiot and demanding they be locked up. When these 13-year-old girls go on daytime television looking for their baby's father, everyone always asks where the parents were on that one. When teenagers have violent, weapons-related outbursts at school, they always seem to find written plans and agendas, disturbing search histories, and the like, and everyone wants to know why the parents didn't know this.
Yes, you should be checking up on what your kids are doing online- you should see what they have been looking up, see who they have been talking to, and know what they're up to. Good parents make sure their kids are supervised- if they go out, they hire a sitter. If they send the child to a friend's house, they make sure they know the friends and that the parents will be home.
As a child gets older, into the late teens, then yes they should start to earn more privlidges and privacy. But they should EARN it. Once you're an adult, you can do what you want- but as long as you're a child, your parents job is to decide what's best for you.
And before people bring up the "what if your parents are nuts, or unreasonable, or blah blah blah", I'm talking about the general population, and not the few extreme cases. If your parents are watching your internet usage, and then lock you in the shed for 3 days without water for swearing, then you have bigger issues to worry about than whether or not they have your passwords. But the majority of parents who would monitor their kids computer usage are looking for clues about drug or sexual activity, to see if they are skiping school or to see if they are having inappropriate discussions with adults.
Honestly, I'm more uset with parents that DON'T monitor their kids internet activity.
EDIT: And yes, you should check up on your kids IRL too. If your kids have the ability to hide weapons or drugs in your house, there is a problem. If they are supposed to be at a certain place at a certain time, there is nothing wrong with making sure that's where they are.
Post by
324987
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
ElhonnaDS
I would be interested in what percentage of the no's are under 18, just as a point of reference.
Post by
buzz3070
I voted yes elhonnasds really explains why I voted. Privacy goes on the back burner when dealing with your kids and safety becomes your number one priority.
Post by
Monday
Literally spying, as in not telling them you're doing it, is pretty bad.
Literally getting on their accounts and looking through their stuff is way over the line.
This pretty much says it for me.
Post by
gnomerdon
Yes. I treat daughters differently from sons. And I won't be changing it ANYTIME soon.
So it's okay for your underage son to perhaps get in a position where he flashes his #$%^ on the internet, but not for your daughter to get in such a position?
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
That's a extreme example. I won't let either do that. No webcams. I treat sons differently from daughters. If I treated both son and daughter the same way, I wouldn't be a good father anymore. You gotta protect your daughter and away from pedos. You gotta protect your son from stealing and getting into fights. 2 different things, same goal.
If it's to protect my kids from real killers online, I would do anything to stop it before it becomes something bigger.
Post by
ElhonnaDS
Yes. I treat daughters differently from sons. And I won't be changing it ANYTIME soon.
So it's okay for your underage son to perhaps get in a position where he flashes his #$%^ on the internet, but not for your daughter to get in such a position?
Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
That's a extreme example. I won't let either do that. No webcams. I treat sons differently from daughters. If I treated both son and daughter the same way, I wouldn't be a good father anymore. You gotta protect your daughter and away from pedos. You gotta protect your son from stealing and getting into fights. 2 different things, same goal.
If it's to protect my kids from real killers online, I would do anything to stop it before it becomes something bigger.
Just an FYI- boys can be targeted as well as girls by sickos. Per Wikki, about 15-25% of all girls will suffer some kind of sexual abuse, and about 5-15% of all boys. So don't think that just because your child is a boy he's safe. It might be somehwat less likely than with a girl, but I would still do everything in my power to keep my son out of that 15%.
Source:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse
Post by
Treskol
How old is said kid? Cause that would change my opinion on the matter.
Post by
Lombax
This reminds me that I have searched for LSD and GHB on my iPhone though my parents wouldn't care about it if they saw it, they know I wouldn't do drugs or even drink...
Post by
Interest
It honestly depends, but I'm against it.
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